Feels so wrong.. I feel so wrong

I don’t think the person I used to be is dead. I don’t think im all that different, but I feel different. I feel wrong. Like at one point I turned away from the person I was supposed to be. Did it happen in a split second, or was it one wrong turn after another? The innocence, that blind trust I once had is gone and now I question every person’s intent, even my own. Is that bad? Should I trust myself? Is the ability to be cynical, but loving and giving at the same time possible? I think that makes a careful and honest person. However, mistake after mistake, I don’t realize it until it’s too late.