Dear Library Patrons

1: Yes, you need your library card. Always have it ready before calling or approaching the desk. No, looking you up by name is not an option. Despite what you think, a LOT of people have the exact same first and last name as you. Your name can be Sunshine Starfish Tuna Salad Jones and I assure you, there will be at least one other person like that in the system. It's even harder with common names like John Smith and Mohammad Ali. 2: Learn the difference between circulation and reference. Reference is where librarians will be there to help you with questions about books or computers. Clerks are there to check in and check out. 3: Don't yell at the clerk over your fines. It's your own fault you returned the book late/damaged/lost it. Own up and pay up. 4: If we say we don't have something, don't scream at us to magically produce it. I once had a lady spend 15 minutes yelling at me because we have no bus scheduals. The bus company does NOT print them anymore. You can ONLY get them online. Somehow she thought this was my fault and if she yelled at me long enough I could magically produce one. She refused to go to the reference desk 20 feet away but continued to scream at me. A lowly clerk. 5: Don't leave Post-it Notes or anything else with a sticky backing in your book. Especially a LOT of them. Not just because we have to remove every single one, but because the glue in them attracts bugs that EAT PAPER! 6: We're not psychic babysitters. If your kid has a mental disability like ADD or Austism don't send them into the library alone and expect us to watch them while you talk with your friends on your cellphone about Sex In The City or American Idol. Also don't let your kids run around the library while you're on eBay. 7: Thanks to our laws in America we can't stop adults from looking at p*rn on the computers unless someone complains. Not two hours after the fact, not two DAYS after the fact. RIGHT WHEN IT IS HAPPENING! Don't whine about it when we can't do anything because you waited until it was too late.