Miss you...

After 2 1/2 years I'm still in love with my ex. Why didn't I just agree to move to LA?! Now I'm stuck in a relationship with a guy that everyone believes is sweet and charming but there's absolutely no spark. He is sweet. He's a hard worker. He's attractive and smart and makes a lot of money. I just don't feel it. Every time I've broken things off with him he comes back begging and I imagine there's maybe something there, I want to move on but I can't. I know I sound pathetic but my heart and chest are seriously aching. I sometimes think death would be easier because it really destroys my way of living-to think that I might have made a wrong life decision.